Hey everyone! It is Christal Marshall from www.lifewithacamerapluskids.com (my podcast site) and today were going to just unpack the topic of the work life balance.
Most of us are entrepreneurs and business owners. We have kids and we might work full-time or work part-time like on the weekends. We might be stay-at-home parent, or we might be a work-at-home parent. We might be trading sometimes with a husband or a partner or spouse- where he works at night you during the day.
There are so many different combinations of different work environments and family environments.
For me, I'm coming from being a work-at-home-mother but I also homeschool my kids. My husband is a pastor so we have a very interesting schedule. He has most weekdays flexibility but weekends he has to work a lot. We've had to really think through and work through balancing who is going to watch the kids, because most of my weddings and family sessions are during the weekends.
I know for me, the kids are all around me- they're running around like crazy
- they are climbing me, they're throwing things on each other they're beating each other up- they're going to their rooms and making messes.
My daughter is screaming and shoving my son down. And there is my son hitting- my daughter, and then we have timeout. It's just one crazy circus.
And then you know obviously working from home I'm always having this situation, "Mom, get off your phone," "Mom, get off your computer," "Help me, "Play with me."
And then when I do, when I finish up, and I sit down to play with them, it is just them fighting and they're not sharing. This is my life.
My life is not perfect and nobody's life is perfect.
We decided to homeschool for a number of reasons. But I think our our main reason was the flexibility of having weekdays off with dad and go hiking or go to the park. Where the weekends are more our school times or my work times.
the reason I bring up this topic today was I was on Facebook and I saw on my friends posted how another mom commented that she was "A Bad Mom."
This is a mom that is in the military and had surgery, now she is home with her kid but obviously cannot walk because it was knee surgery. And someone else found out that she was getting a babysitter to watch her kid while she recovered and that made her like feel really inferior.
So she went to Facebook and started talking about the situation. And then a lot of people started commenting and messaging her, saying things like, "You're a great mom!" and "Don't even let that person get you down!"
It just really made me think that everybody has a different journey. Some people have full-time jobs, their kids have nannies or they might have au pair, or they might have daycare situation. They might have a part-time daycare situation, or a preschool situation.
There's so many different combinations of parenting and different styles of parenting. You might be an organic mom, you might be a healthy mommy, you might be at CrossFit mommy, you might be a Pinterest mommy, a breast-feeding only mommy, or a bottle-only mom. There's Literally so many different parenting styles. But you know what we're all in this together and we're all here to help one another and support one another.
Obviously, I can't push homeschooling on everybody. I love it. I'm so glad I do it even though it is a crazy circus. But you know it's not for everybody. Everybody is different and every family dynamic is different.
Not everybody can stay at home. My mother had to work when I was growing up. That's why I kind of learned how to do things by myself and be independent.
We need to stop belittling one another. Moms- we need to stop putting each other down with comments saying, "Oh, you're not this or that.." "You're a bad mom because such and such..." "You need to wear this," "You need to have this," "You need to look like this," "Your kids need to look like this," "Your kids need to act like this.."
You know sometimes it is hard for me, being a pastors wife to go to church and my kids are all disheveled looking. They have food on their clothes-their clothes don't match. Sometimes, its all I can do to get my kids ready for church on Sunday morning.
I have to make sure that they are nice smelling, nice looking, and nice acting- all by 9 AM! And then I have to at least take a shower and look cute- so much pressure sometimes.
My kids run in the hallways. My kids jump off of the pews. I am totally In trouble every day. I hear things like "Your kids need matching shoes," "Didn't you bring an extra change of clothes? or "Didn't your kids bring bible to church?"
It doesn't phase me because I'm just trying to do my best. Sometimes, I sit down and I just cry because I had a really crappy day. But sometimes, I feel really good because I've have a great day.
Everybody's gonna feel lonely. Everybody's going to feel exhausted. Some days, kids sleep through the night and some days they are waking up at three or four times in the night. Some days, you go a whole day without injury - without breaking anything. And then some days, you'll be in the hospital waiting in the ER because your kid broke their arm and of course dad is in a conference. (That happen to me like six months ago)
We just need a stick together ladies.
We need to just be of one mind and one heart- helping and supporting one another.
I just really want to talk about how we are a community. Don't bully people online. Don't say mean comments because it's not gonna help anybody.
I felt so burdened by my friends post and how just down she felt. She's really trying to provide for her son some fun experiences through hiring a babysitter when she's laying on the couch and and recovering from her surgery.
sometimes I feel judged too, "Why don't you have dinner on the table?" "Why don't you know how to cook?" "Why don't you do this...?"
Everybody has different talents and ability. We need to support another and help another.
I hope that encouraged someone today. We're on the same boat- We are all mothers, and we're all parents.
We're all just trying to do the best we can. We are all just trying to grow little tiny humans that are respectful and grow up to be contributing members of society.
Christal Marshall is a mom of three, photographer, videographer, homeschooler and just a straight hustler.
She was voted top 20 wedding photographers in VA in 2016 and 2018. She has been featured over 25 times in various different publications.
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